This week for my "Let Your Guard Down" series, I will be tackling my goals for the month of April. This month, I'm all about living truthfully, wherein I don't let others' judgements of me get in the way of my everyday happiness and positive outlook. I'm determined to just feel free to live and be me.
1. Free my mind from long-term and future-based worries
This one is a doozey for me. As someone who suffers from general anxiety, I'm either constantly overwhelmed by nervous energy regarding either a well-past event or something on the horizon that is totally out of my control. So, I'm going to set out to not bombard myself with worry over things that are not currently happening in the moment. Basically, this stems down to living in the present more. This entails my looking at specific moments in my life, whether that be a certain meal or hanging out with specific people, and asking whether this feels good to me? Am I content? At ease? If so, good! If not, don't worry about it.
2. Worry less about what people think of me
Here's a little tidbit about me: I worry constantly about my impact on others. And when I start hanging out with new people, as I'm in the midst of currently, I find myself fearing that these individuals might suddenly discover something they don't like about me and thus not spend time with me anymore. And you might say, "But Erin, that's crazy. How often does this actually happen?" But sadly, I must report that this has happened multiple times now. And so, rather than be confident in myself, I cannot help but question every act, text, touch, etc. Since this has been a big part of my character for as far back as I remember, I can only promise to try and break the habit.
3. Work actively to better myself
This month, I'd like to tackle expanding my skillset. First things first, I'd like to work on my photography skills, both in front of and behind the camera. As for modeling for someone else besides my tripod, this will be a stretch for me. But I'm determined to get better. I'm going to be working with someone for free, so the pressure is on to deliver on my end of the bargain too! I would also like to practice banjo and singing more.
4. Practice self-promotion
Self-promoting is something I'm not naturally prone to doing. Things like instagramming everything in my life is something I actually have to push myself to do. But fear not because I'm actually really enjoying learning how. I think it's important to actively remember that I am capable of being an expert on a niche subject, though I might still be pinpointing what that is exactly.
5. Enjoy the day-to-day
From a pastry from down the street, the smile of the guy at the drycleaners' to the genuine excitement over new product, the day-to-day can fill you with joy if you just allow yourself to slow down and take it all in slowly. I live for that feeling of inner bliss when someone is receptive to the entire you - from your touch, you thoughts, and your fears, but also little things like your "oh-no-no's" and idiosyncrasies. I will be free to be me. It's okay just to be.
What about you, do you have any goals for April?